my itchy eyes

looking at this page for the last 15 minutes trying to come up with something creative to name today's post and once my eyes started watering... it was an easy call.

I've worked a lot this week and I've thoroughly enjoyed it.  Today, after taking a few of the girls to their doctor appointments, I walked into MarDean's office to hear her doing a phone assessment. It dawned on me what a great personality she has to be doing the job she is doing.  While she may come across a little gruff the thing about her that strikes me is how fair she is.  No matter who you are or what you are coming from... it does not matter one iota to her... she will treat you the same... I really admire that about her.  I don't care what people say, it's pretty easy to be judgemental about people by their looks or whatever.... but not her, she wants to help young women in need.  I love my job so much.  Today, I had an opportunity to witness to two of the women.  One of the girls, I've had a few conversations with and I really like her... she is a creative young woman who just got into the wrong activity and now wants to change her life.  The other young woman is new to the program and I was able to pray with her after she shared a story with me that really made me want to cry right along with her... some "friend" of hers "read her cards" .... yea, I know, I don't know about that stuff either... but this so called friend told her that her daughter was going to die and then she would end up killing herself.  Whoa.  I couldn't believe that a person would actually say this another.  I told her to not pay one bit of attention to it.  That she was the master of her own life and that she would be the person to determine the outcome of her own well being.  I did say to her that of course I had no bearing on her child's welfare.... I did say that I could pray for her.  So I did.  I spent the rest of my time with the two ladies giving witness to how great my Lord has been in my life.  It's really one of the first times that I have been able to share how wonderful my life has been since turning it over to the Lord.  Of course I told the truth and shared about the trials I've gone through as well.  Life is still going to be tough at times... it's just not AS tough when you've the Lord to lean on.  It was truly a great day.  I pray that I did affect these ladies and that one day they will look back on our conversations today with happiness.  It's why I ended up getting into this field in  the first place.  I want to help ... to serve.  

Who knows, maybe tomorrow i'll get another chance to do the same.  

Thank you Lord for giving me the opportunity to do YOUR work.

Lesly

My sweet friend Lesly passed away this morning ... before the sun came up.  I met Lesly at CR and she was in my 12 step group.  She was such gentle soul and had such a sweet spirit. 
Even with my faith, death is so hard for me.  I KNOW I am going to see these people again, but I am just a selfish person I suppose, because it's something that I find is ALWAYS traumatic for me. 
I will miss her until we meet again on the other side.  Kiss Jesus for me Ms. Lesly... you lucky girl you... and please introduce yourself to Laura and John... they will show you the ropes now that you've arrived.
Thank you for being my friend!!!

OUCH

Relationships can be painful.  Really painful. Whether it's your marriage, your relationship with your parents, or your children or even your friends. You think your being easy going and flexible and come to find out it's being perceived as rigid and controlling and making another feel as though they are put on the spot.  How is it that 2 people can have such different views of the same situation?  What is really odd to is how things that have been told in confidence come back to haunt you. As these things were being thrown at me, I was reflecting on a similar situation that took place, although not with me, but with the finger pointer.  But I didn't go there... I let it ride, saying only a little bit in my defense, because  really, it just doesn't matter anymore. But this same thing happened between them and another, but it was ME that was accused of asking for drama... 
Realizing that making time for me is a chore ... well, ouch, that smarts a bit... no, a lot.  Lots of prayer this week has gotten me to a place of .... I guess just shrugging my shoulders and saying, "oh well."  If that is how I'm perceived, then so be it. I do know that I have other people in my life that love me for me.
My resolution, although I really hate them, is to surround myself with people who WANT to be around me... who love me and feel that their time spent with me is time, well, well spent. 
It just makes me wonder about people.  And then thank my stars that I've decided to love MY Lord and try to do right by Him.  What stinks however is that during this incident, I fell so short.  Not that Satan took over or anything, but I just did NOT come across as a child of God.  And I hate that.  Choosing my battles wisely has become almost the most important thing to me... because life is too darned short to let EVERYTHING annoy you . (I live with the MASTER of that!!  Ha) And dang, I tried, I really did.  But this one got me.  Got me good.