Lesly

My sweet friend Lesly passed away this morning ... before the sun came up.  I met Lesly at CR and she was in my 12 step group.  She was such gentle soul and had such a sweet spirit. 
Even with my faith, death is so hard for me.  I KNOW I am going to see these people again, but I am just a selfish person I suppose, because it's something that I find is ALWAYS traumatic for me. 
I will miss her until we meet again on the other side.  Kiss Jesus for me Ms. Lesly... you lucky girl you... and please introduce yourself to Laura and John... they will show you the ropes now that you've arrived.
Thank you for being my friend!!!

OUCH

Relationships can be painful.  Really painful. Whether it's your marriage, your relationship with your parents, or your children or even your friends. You think your being easy going and flexible and come to find out it's being perceived as rigid and controlling and making another feel as though they are put on the spot.  How is it that 2 people can have such different views of the same situation?  What is really odd to is how things that have been told in confidence come back to haunt you. As these things were being thrown at me, I was reflecting on a similar situation that took place, although not with me, but with the finger pointer.  But I didn't go there... I let it ride, saying only a little bit in my defense, because  really, it just doesn't matter anymore. But this same thing happened between them and another, but it was ME that was accused of asking for drama... 
Realizing that making time for me is a chore ... well, ouch, that smarts a bit... no, a lot.  Lots of prayer this week has gotten me to a place of .... I guess just shrugging my shoulders and saying, "oh well."  If that is how I'm perceived, then so be it. I do know that I have other people in my life that love me for me.
My resolution, although I really hate them, is to surround myself with people who WANT to be around me... who love me and feel that their time spent with me is time, well, well spent. 
It just makes me wonder about people.  And then thank my stars that I've decided to love MY Lord and try to do right by Him.  What stinks however is that during this incident, I fell so short.  Not that Satan took over or anything, but I just did NOT come across as a child of God.  And I hate that.  Choosing my battles wisely has become almost the most important thing to me... because life is too darned short to let EVERYTHING annoy you . (I live with the MASTER of that!!  Ha) And dang, I tried, I really did.  But this one got me.  Got me good.